Better Off Alone or Choose The Guy with the Fish.
The 21st century seems to be one of the hardest times to date. Some people fear they will be inevitably alone. We can swipe through our phones and view hundreds of profiles judging every profile by its cover. If we do not capture the viewers' attention within seconds, we might lose a chance of ever finding “the one.”
Ladies, that one guy holding the fish on your tinder account, could have been your forever Prince Charming.. or maybe he would rather just go fishing than spend time with you. But how do you know, if you never speak to him? ;) All I am saying is at any age in this decade it’s really hard to date anyone and you might be thinking, it’s better off to be alone.
If you are someone who has a history of long-term relationships there is a good chance you will have more long-term relationships that will follow. If you are someone who has had many short relationships, you might continue to have short relationships. Or maybe you need to analyze why your relationships end so quickly in the first place.
According to Harvard University, 36% of all Americans — including 61% of young adults and 51% of mothers with young children feel “severe loneliness.” And 33% of people worldwide also feel lonely. If you are a part of these percentages, I can tell you I am right there with you. I could be in a crowd of people, in a relationship, or have a cute dog or cat by my side and I will still feel lonely. But just so you know, you are not alone, in being alone.
It has taken me years to overcome the feeling of constant loneliness. I first needed to ask myself what is so wrong with being alone? Why am I afraid of it? My first thoughts were: “I am going to be alone forever, no one wants to spend time with me, I feel unwanted. Something bad is going to happen and no one is going to be there to call the ambulance if I have a heart attack at the age of 26. If you can’t already tell or guess, I had pretty big fears that I needed to unpack.
My acceptance of loneliness has not been the easiest journey it has been rough on occasion. With therapy and self-discovery I learned that I can be alone, travel alone, and be independently happy. I never thought I would reach this feeling in my life until it happened. I forced myself to reframe what alone time meant. In therapy, we learn how to check the facts. In a future blog post, we can work on how checking the facts can unpack those fears and lead to a less lonely life.