The Unhealthy Hug

I love hugs, especially at the end of a long work week. Snuggling up to my boyfriend and my cute little dog helps me emotionally, mentally, and physically. Hugs increase oxytocin the "love hormone". They can create a lower risk of heart disease, stress reduction, fight infections, ease depression, and may even boost your immune system. They create a feeling of relaxation and calmness. Receiving a hug can build reassurance and help you feel a sense of stability and safety.

Occasionally we form a hug that is unhealthy for us and I am not talking about the physical hugging that I love so much. This unhealthy hug is a mindset. It could be living comfortably in an unhealthy environment, staying in a toxic relationship, falling into an abuse cycle, or eating food you know is bad for you. Those donuts and ice cream is calling your name, or are they calling to your stress? We construct these unhealthy hugs to soothe our emotions when we do not have healthier coping skills. Sounds contradicting, doesn't it? An unhealthy thing makes our negative emotions better? In short-term cases yes. Long-term...not so much. And the amount of weight we put on after all that sugar can remind us of that.

How can living our lives in unhealthy ways bring us such comfort?

When we get stuck in this unhealthy hug cycle we tell ourselves we cannot live our lives any other way. We will eventually find ourselves comfortable in chaos but deep down inside we know something is missing. It is challenging but not impossible to create a break in this cycle.

We forget that we are in the driver's seat of our own life. It's a choice to drive or be driven. One of the first steps in taking the wheel is discovering how your unhealthy hugs make you feel. Does your messy room create more stress for you? Does staying in this toxic relationship worth sacrificing your energy and mental health? Are you coming home crying after your boss's childish behavior but you keep choosing to stay at this job?

We can end up staying in this cycle for years of our life without even knowing it. Until we learn about these cycles we fall in, it makes it difficult to become unstuck in our unhealthy behaviors.

Can you relate? Leave a comment below and tell me your unhealthy hug.